BUDDY CHRIST SAYS ask for advice and you...'s blog: "blogs to make ya think or drink!!!"

DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS 40-ish - 49 Adventurous - Slept with everyone Athletic - No tits Average looking - Ugly Beautiful - Pathological liar Contagious Smile - Does a lot of pills Emotionally secure - On medication Feminist - Fat Free spirit - Junkie Friendship first - Former very *friendly* person Fun - Annoying New Age - Body hair in the wrong places Old-fashioned - No BJs Open-minded - Desperate Outgoing - Loud and Embarrassing Passionate - Sloppy drunk Professional - Bitch Voluptuous - Very Fat Large frame - Hugely Fat Wants Soul mate - Stalker WOMEN'S ENGLISH: 1. Yes = No 2. No = Yes (get a safety word first before you apply this theory so u dont get rape charges!) 3. Maybe = No 4. We need = I want 5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry 6. We need to talk = you're in trouble 7. Sure, go ahead = you better not 8. Do what you want = you will pay for this later 9. I am not upset = Of course I am upset, you moron! 10. You're certainly attentive tonight = is sex all you ever think about? MEN'S ENGLISH 1. I am hungry = I am hungry 2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy 3. I am tired = I am tired 4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage! 5. I love you = let's have sex now 6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex? 7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you 8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you 9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you 10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you 11. I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I'm gay A recent scientific study found that women find different male faces attractive depending on where they are in their menstrual cycle. For example, when a woman is ovulating she will prefer a man with rugged, masculine features. And when she is menstruating, she prefers a man doused in petrol and set on fire, with scissors stuck in his eye and a cricket stump shoved up his backside one things for sure: women can only take so much metrosexual bullshyt, eventually they want a man!!

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The words I say fall on deaf ears. I could scream in your face and you still wouldn't hear. Wouldn't hear my voice dripping with pain, shaking with anger, thick with disdain. My voice choked by sobs, hoarse from the strain of screaming at you but it's all just in vain. You don't hear a word that comes out of my mouth. Maybe you'll hear the door as I finally walk out.

7 kinds of sex Recent research shows that there are 7 kinds of sex: The 1st kind of sex is called: Smurf Sex.. This kind of sex happens when you first meet someone and you both have sex until you are blue in the face. The 2nd kind of sex is called: Kitchen Sex. This is when you have been with your partner for a short time and you are so horny you will have sex anywhere, even in the kitchen. The 3rd kind of sex is called: Bedroom Sex. This is when you have been with your partner for a long time. Your sex has gotten routine and you usually have sex only in your bedroom. The 4th kind of sex is called: Hallway Sex. This is when you have been with your partner for too long. When you pass each other in the hallway you both say "fuck you." The 5th kind of sex is called: Religious Sex, which means you get Nun in the morning, Nun in the afternoon and Nun at night. The 6th kind is called Courtroom Sex. This is when you cannot stand your wife any more. She takes you to court and screws you in front of everyone. The 7th kind of sex is called: Social Security Sex. You get a little each month. But not enough to live on.